Clarkson’s back, and he’s replaced escapey sheep with escapey cows

Despite fears it could be cancelled due to Clarkson’s recent media controversies, the second season of Clarkson’s Farm aired last week, seeing the welcome return of show favourites Kaleb Cooper, Cheerful Charlie, the incomprehensible Gerald, Lisa and of course Clarkson himself.

Those who have come to love Clarkson’s brand of humour mixed with a portrayal of the all-too-serious issues facing British farmers, will not be disappointed by the new season. The first episode dives straight into the lorry shortages of 2021, which sees Jeremy forced to dump around five tonnes of barley in an outdoor storage area – which vandals had recently attempted to set on fire for the second time – with rain predicted the next day.

Agronomist and land agent Cheerful Charlie then informs Jeremy that his £82,000 annual subsidy cheque will no longer be arriving as BPS payments are phased out – but information on what will replace it remains elusive. Which Jeremy says is “like Fifa saying we’re going to have new rules for football […] but we just don’t know what they are”.

Season two also sees Clarkson announce to a somewhat dubious Charlie that he plans to introduce cows to the farm and convert his lambing barn into a restaurant. His scheme for swerving the 80% failure rate of restaurants is to “be one of the 20%”.

But despite Clarkson’s devil-may-care reputation, the idea had much to offer, for soil health, food miles and the local community as he planned to stock the restaurant solely with food either grown on the farm or by the surrounding local farm businesses.

Those who have followed the progress of Clarkson’s beleaguered restaurant will know the council subsequently enforced its closure. Season two of Clarkson’s Farm has reignited controversy over West Oxfordshire District Council’s rejection of the planning application on social media.

Conservative county councillor Liam Walker said on Twitter: ‘Please do watch the next series of #ClarksonsFarm where you get to see the local anti-@JeremyClarkson councils in action. My view: it’s all very personal. A missed opportunity for #WestOxfordshire and local farming. FYI the temporary restaurant was great! #SupportOurFarmers’.

He added in a later post: ‘[…] Local farms should be able to diversify rather than being caught up in planning red tape’.

Mixed in with the more serious aspects of the show, Clarkson is as humorous and as un-PC as ever, referring to Kaleb as a “snowflake” when he puts on PPE and, noting the large number of people killed by cows each year, he adds “mostly ramblers, which obviously is fine”.

Meanwhile, when Clarkson’s new “lady cows” and “man cows” arrive on the farm, he rather ominously says he “can’t see these being a nuisance” – promptly followed by the entire herd escaping.

The rest of the season will see Clarkson experimenting with unbearably hot chilli jam, as well as numerous mishaps, arguments, injuries, escaping cows and battles with the council – also described as “the red tape factory”.

Stay tuned for further Clarkson’s Farm reviews and updates on Farmers Guide…