Jeremy Clarkson plans release of eco-friendly tractor range
1st April 2025
In a surprise move, former Top Gear host Jeremy Clarkson has announced he is working with agricultural engineers to develop his own line of eco-friendly tractors.
Despite once saying he’s “just not interested” in electric cars, TV presenter, journalist and farmer Jeremy Clarkson has announced plans to develop an eco-friendly tractor range.
Clarkson said the new tractors will be “as green as Greta Thunberg’s lunchbox” – with plans to name the range, the Clarkson EcoBoost 19-82.
The move may come as a surprise to fans of the former Top Gear host, who famously scoffs at environmentalists – though he has recently begun using regenerative techniques at Diddly Squat Farm with the help of Andy Cato.
Explaining his plans for the new tractor range, he said: “I was out in the field one day, trying to work out how to make a tractor that didn’t cost over £500 to fill up.
“Then I got stung on the leg by a nettle, and a genius idea came to me: what if the fuel’s been under our noses – or under our wellies – this whole time?”
He added: “This thing is going to revolutionise British farming. It’s carbon neutral, runs on weeds, and makes the whole farm smell like a hippie’s kitchen. What’s not to love?”
Like Popeye with spinach
According to Clarkson, the new tractor is powered by a biofuel derived from nettles from the farm, sheep’s wool and a small amount of elderflower cordial.
The concoction is fermented in barrels previously used to store Hawkstone Lager, “to help the fuel generate that little bit of extra power,” Clarkson claimed.
The EcoBoost 19-82 boasts an impressive top speed of 14mph (downhill) and a near silent operation – until the exhaust lets out what can only be described as a long, echoing sigh, for reasons that Clarkson admits he doesn’t fully understand.
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The tractor is said to come equipped with a built-in juicer and foraging basket, allowing farmers to gather and process their own nettle fuel in the field.
“It’s all about sustainability,” Clarkson explained. “You just drive over a patch of nettles, and the tractor gets stronger. It’s like Popeye with spinach, but much less American.”
To top it off, Clarkson has announced that all EcoBoost 19-82s will be compatible with Alexa-controlled ploughs, which respond to voice commands such as “plough the west field” or “stop before the hedge, you lunatic”.
Mixed reactions
Meanwhile, farm manager Kaleb Cooper was less than enthusiastic about the launch. “I spent three hours feeding nettles into that juicing contraption, and it squirted me straight in the eye,” he said.
“Jeremy reckons it’s like a detox for me. I reckon he’s been sniffing exhaust fumes again.”
Predictably, reactions have been mixed. Environmental campaigners cautiously praised the concept, while engineers at a well-known tractor manufacturer reportedly laughed so hard that someone pulled a muscle.
Local farmer Jim Bullthwap, who was given the chance to trial a prototype of the EcoBoost, had this to say: “It’s alright, until you suck a bee into the juicing compartment. Then, things start to get a bit more lively.”
Despite the confusion and scepticism, Clarkson remains undeterred. He claims the EcoBoost 19-82 will go into full production as soon as he is able to convince Kaleb to harvest another 500 tonnes of nettles without crying.
Asked if the project was perhaps timed suspiciously close to April 1st, Clarkson winked and muttered something about “government grants and mushrooms”.
One thing’s for sure – whether it’s a brilliant piece of eco-engineering, or just another Clarkson stunt, farmers across the UK will be keeping one eye on the nettle patch this spring.
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